therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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