I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
