i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
