TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
