Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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