I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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