I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
