The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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