He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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