i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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