Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
