is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
