I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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