I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
