im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
