Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize