I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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