i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
