Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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