we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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