Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
