remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
