i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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