If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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