he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
are you so shy because you have an std?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
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Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize