If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
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