ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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