What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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