the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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