I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
