yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
