Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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