from now on my penis is your penis
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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