Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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