Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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