ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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