just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
