You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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