ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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