is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
