How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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