The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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