Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
