I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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