I looked at my own cervix.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
