a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
