Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize