Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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