I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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