Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She even gives head with a lisp.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
