If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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