Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
