If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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