you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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