TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
