You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize