I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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