I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
