Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
