I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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