I need help removing her.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize