Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
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I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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