he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
