12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
