thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
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Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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