Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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