***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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