I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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