David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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